The reformation of my work choir over the last couple of days (featuring my twin and myself on vocals) re-ignited my passion for Paramore and Hey Monday, so am i once again lost in a world of words. This i like.
'I'm not running away; this time i'm walking away with enough time for you to call me back. But this time, once i'm gone, i'm never coming home. 11 Days, and it can't come soon enough.'
Like every Hey Monday song, this status of mine isn't just meant for one person, in one way... My disappearance can't come soon enough in most respects but in a couple of others is coming too fast.
Positives first: in the past month or so, i have made SO many new friends and i don't want to leave them all behind before we've barely got started!
I now have a best friend i can talk too and she is more precious to me than i think she realises; she may be mini-me, but i'll give everything away to stop the pain she's in right now and any pain she might live through, if she turns out anything like me.
Also, two of the best days this summer have been spent in the park, eating far too much sugar and quoting far to many Disney films - tbh i'd rather have spent the weekend with that group than have gone to Reading!
I've refound my closeness with my twin; well more appropriately the other half of my world. We hadn't seen each other much due to stupid work scheduling (WILL NOT START A RANT) but these last few days have seemed like that missing puzzle piece is back and i've decided he's not going anywhere :)
Negatives: i feel there are far to many things happening that i need to get away from.
1.Your lack of anything in return is starting to get to me; you're kinda all words but kinda not at the same time and i don't know what to make of it. I don't know what to make of last night; tbh i've never been sure with you. I know what we agreed but things have gone too far now... I don't want to lose that feeling of absolute safety.
2. You always accused me of running away from my problems; problems that now can't be dealt with because i am forced to ask your sister if you even exist on this planet anymore. We have a habit of saying things we didn't mean. We both said unforgiveable things. You've got so far away, i don't think i could hear you calling me back. 11 days. I'm wondering how many people you've fucked and how deep you're trailing my name through the mud. The first one's none of my business, and the second doesn't affect me, as i won't be here.
3. You just never listen, do you? I'm supposed to be your best friend, not your put-back-together-then-fuck-off-er.
I wish you were here.
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