I can't stop thinking of your bright blue eyes - the amount of times i lost myself in them only to realise you were staring at me - felt so embarrassed... But you were looking back and that's all that mattered to me.
The fact i cannot get you off my mind - contantly checking my phone for texts, thinking of an excuse to text you, searching for your name on facebook chat, looking for a status you post, listening to every song that reminds me of you, it's like you're inside my mind, in my dreams all i hear is your heartbeat next to mine, the touch of your hand is what i reach for every time i wake up. First thing i think of in the morning, last thing at night, and every moment in between.
Re-reading old conversations - the heartbreaking arguments and the smile inducing sweet as honey moments. The fact i feel sick about someone else being inside your arms; the last place i felt safe.
I've done many things that i'm not proud of - hurt you, i think, in some small way but then, i don't think i mean anything like as much to you as you do to me.
I get paranoid, i get jealous - emotions i've always ignored or never really had since the first time i fell in love - emotionally reticent as always, but you dragged them too the surface, demanding i open up to you, to someone, ANYONE. I wish i had, but all that came out was pain and anger as well as badly explained reactions to tiny things.
Now i'm so far away and i can't bare the idea that you might forget me, forget what we had... Though what we had never really got going.
I just need to get this out, all these things i'll never be able to say to you - if i try to get it out i just seem to, i don't know, annoy you somehow...
I don't want to give up, but it feels so one-sided...
(8) But always know that you shine brighter, than anyone does...
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