'I promised myself i wouldn't do it, yet here i find myself, hair scraped back about to get ready for a night out, writing my thoughts down for the lonely internet to read.
You don't even check this i bet, so i'm prettty safe.
1 whole year. Time has gone so fast!
A whole year in the blink of an eye, changes of head, heart, subconcious...
Because things i have changed in me. All because of you :)
I don't know what i was expecting! A heartfelt phonecall, or 10 page text, or fb mail?
Why did i even think... keep myself awake last night, with this hope.
It's safe to say we've both moved on, in that we've had other relationships, felt the emotions again...
Well you maybe. I haven't.
I've been missing you more than ever, dreaming about you every night.
We met at the bottom of a mosh pit. A collision course.
Or a stroke of luck.
And now you hate me. Fair play to you on that.
In essence; i remembered.
I was always going to remember. This night changed my life.
So thank you. Truly, madly, deeply, thank you.
I love you.
And i'll see myself sitting up till half 12 tonight waiting. Just in case.'
Last year I wrote that on a blog so full of painful memories I can barely stand to read it.
Yet here we are, back at the same time of year.
11 days time.
Again, i'm unsure of what to do, to say, to think...
I can't believe the thing that caused us to fall apart, is the same thing that has me sitting in this room right now, so far away from you i'd have to be on the moon to get any further away. We fell apart because I was never fully there. I understand now.
I don't think you ever loved me as much as I loved you. I prefer it that way, if i'm honest.
I wonder if anniveraries like this actually mean the same thing to boys, or whether it's different.
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